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Tuesday, October 1, 2013

Truth Tuesday


  • I once turned a John Deere lawn mower into a bumble bee with the help of my cousin, Hailey. We proudly rode that thing all around our neighborhood. You can't see the front, but our bee had sparkly, blue eyes with long eye lashes and pink lips. I have two questions: (1) What inspired us to paint a lawn mower in the first place? Let alone painting it like a bumble bee? (2) How did we have time to do all the taping/painting and the subsequent neighborhood riding? Regardless of the answer, I'm glad we did it. It's completely random and completely us. 
  • Richie and I went out to eat a few weeks ago at one of my new favorite restaurants, Hu Hot. It's a Monngolian BBQ where you dish up all your own meats/noodles/veggies and it's grilled right in front of you. Our neighbor, Loren, is a cook there. As I was going through the line, I added 2X's the amount of vegetables that I would normally eat, just because our neighbor was going to be seeing my meal. I wanted him to think I was healthy.
  • Bad idea: running a 5k. Worse idea: running a 5k through mud. Worst idea: running a 5k through mud in a dress. Don't know what I'm talking about? Go HERE.
  • I'm completely kidding. The mud run was SO fun and I'd do it again in a heart beat. The dress was way easy to run in. I actually liked how airy it was. My only complaint is that we had to crawl through these HUGE ice baths. When I got to the end of the ice bath, I had ice chips that went down my top and got stuck in my bra. I was right next to my father-in-law, so I couldn't exactly stick my hand down there and fish it out. I just had to wait for the ice to melt while my ta-tas froze off. 
  • Every parent will have the same terrifying experience. No matter what you do, you can't prevent it from happening. You'll be sitting by the bathtub while your baby is taking a bath. They'll be splashing in the water with their foam alphabet blocks and rubber ducks floating around them. Then you'll notice something else floating in the water. A big chunk of poop. It'll be disintegrating, slowly coating your 60 bath toys (yes, I counted) in a layer of feces. "How long has that been floating there?"
Depending on how many kids you have, your reaction will be a little different:

First child:
  1. Yell for your husband to come into the bathroom. This is going to be a team effort.
  2. Remove baby from bath.
  3.  Drain bath and get poop out of tub (you'll likely use a "bio-hazardous materials" bag and latex gloves).
  4. Clean every bath toy and every square inch of the house with bleach. 
  5. Return baby to tub and give her the scrub down of a life time. 
  6. Repeat number 5 multiple times.
  7. Get new towel to dry baby off. 
  8. Get baby ready for bed.
Second child:
  1. Get poop out of tub (you'll likely use some wipes or your hand, and take it out to the dumpster).
  2. Drain tub and then put new water in. 
  3. Yell for husband to come into the bathroom and tell him what happened while you clean baby.
  4. Get baby ready for bed. 
Third+ child:
  1. Remove poop from tub (you'll likely use your hand and just throw it in the toilet. You'll also use your husband's towel to dry your hand off).
  2. Check for poop in baby's mouth. 
  3. Get baby ready for bed. Wait for husband to find the mess so he can clean it up.

1 comment:

Piper said...

I didn't know you had 3+ children. ;)

Also, Scott says, "Husband sees mess and calls for the wife to clean it up."